Woo! I had the same problem while writing it, I was trying to figure out a way of saying "throwing up in the air" with out sounding all wierd...  Wait a minute... *checks*  I wrote "thrown up in the air" instead, which isn't really much better...

It's a pain when people use my HEY YOU alter ego though, because Roger Waters turns up and starts singing about personal segregation...  Bidink Ching!   ...No Pink Floyd fans, huh?  Ok, moving swiftly on...

I'm dog sitting this weekend*, and left the novel of awesomeness at my flat, but I shall delve through it for pearls of comical gold on Tuesday and post some up then!   Or maybe I should have a fire-side reading session, Lenard Nemoy style...

Is this the same Deodorant LLA! that you've been threatening for a while?  Because I've been holding off wearing any untill I got the low-down, and I'm starting to get some complaints... From homeless people...  And brie...  MOLDY brie...

Thanks again Colleen for using my LLA!, and for posting linkies to my site!

Woo again!

*Arf!

Emergency! Emergency!  I've lost the CYOCYOA book!  I'm pretty sure it's still in my room, but it's definately not in line of sight...  Fear not, I shall search!

Annie_Sanders wrote on 05/02/07 at 10:53am:

me too !

Thank you guys so much for the words of kindnes!  I'm really glad you enjoyed my little ramblings and the bizzarities of my brain.

Crisis Averted!  Call back the RAF, I found the CYOCYOA!  It was in a box of CD labels... Which I hadn't opened in like a month... No idea how it got there... Weird...

SO!  Here we have a couple of the more rib-tickling extracts from random openings of the book:

Extract One:
'Auntie Sonia is a good cook. When Mama was nursing the twins, she came to stay with us and she cooked the best meals we ever had.  You must ask her to make her chocolate cakes and cheese and bacon pie'
'I would like that very much indeed.'
'Does Your Wife cook for you in France?'
'I am not married, alas, so I -'
'I thought al grown-ups were married.'
'For fuck's sake, what are you doing?' Joe yelled, shoving back.  In a way, he was not supprised.  What was coming out of Smiley now - he'd always known it was there, resentment that had become more tightly packed with every year, awaiting a spark like this.

The kid might have been asking anoying questions, but this seems a bit much...  I'm guessing there's some under lying tension, or maybe it was just the idea of a 'Chocolate cake, cheese, and bacon pie'... That would create a srtrong reaction with me aswell... Maybe not to go as far as attacking a child, but still...

Extract Two:
Nearly every day new cookers, fridges, freezers and various smaller appliances were delivered.  Space had to be found in the lock-up for them to be stored out of the way while the workmen completed the building work.
"What's that?"
He gave the nut to her, and she examined it with obvious pleasure, at one point putting it to her face to smell it.  "It's like mahogany. And what's this?"  She was pointing to the bits of sticky white stuff that clung to it.  He noticed that the skin around her nail was shiny and red.
"I'm not sure.  All the new ones have it, when they come out of their shell."
He helped her find a couple of others, which she put into the pocket of her dress.  "This is one of the best trees for them," he said, and watched her intently - her throat, her hair - as she gazed up into the foliage.

Who could have guessed that furniture moving could produce one of the most bizzare pieces of erotica EVER...  The analogies do get a bit sketchy nearer the end though... Who actually uses the 'tree-analogy', anyway? I mean, we've all thought of it, but...

And the cliff hanger at the end of the entire novel:
On the first Friday, five different callers were expected - a man to service the steam pressure-boiler in the tea-room; a freezer repaired; a picture expert; a photographer and the floor layers (this day saw the moving of that huge

Huge WHAT?  And what are those floor people doing with them, and why do they need photographers?!